Wow can’t believe it’s been over a year since I’ve written on my blog.
Time surely flies fast. So much has happened.
Looking at my last blog that I have written, it’s crazy how things have turned out.
Previous blog was of how alone I felt but now I come back to this blog as girl craving some privacy and space.
Another valuable lesson I have learned shall be pasted here for the future me to see and learn how much I have grown.
Over the past few weeks, Life has reminded me that selfishness still exists innately in human beings.
A truth I have been forgetting for the past year. A truth that brings me dread and tears.
I forgot how the bitter taste of betrayal tasted like. I haven’t tasted it since high school.
But here I am again, remembering the sharp salty and bitter taste of it. Just like the Korean herbal medicine.
Bitter but beneficial.
I have learned that I was foolish when presenting my trust to those close around me.
Trust can take long years to build but only one second to destroy.
I believe I am good. I don’t believe I am always the victim ( I know there’s a devil inside me) but I know I am good.
I believe I have proved my goodness too.
But, all i receive is disloyalty and selfishness of others.
The hurt I have received burns my heart so much I do not even want to bother resolving the problem.
I’m emotionally drained.
Being so vulnerable. I hate it. I have no defense to protect my weak self. That’s why I hate her so much.
They all know about me. And I hate it. I want my privacy.
That’s why I come to this difficult decision.
Let me be selfish like them.
Let me be brutal like them.
Let me destroy them like them.
Show them how it feels.
Show them that they have dug their own graveyard.
My ” Eye for an eye” motto has come back and lies on my head like a crowning jewel.
You have brought out the blackness that I have buried.
What have you done.